THE MAGIC SEASON

THE WALLS ARE OUT OF THE WAY

Prison walls created a firm boundary between our lives. Now more parts of our lives can naturally interact. Now is a time for creativity, surprises, and really just savoring the simplest experiences of life together.

Here are some stories that might inspire you.

• Madeline heard about JoeRay’s love of animals, his positive childhood memories with a dog. The two of them visited the humane society together. They learned of the need for volunteer dog-walkers. Madeline and JoeRay signed up to walk these caged animals each week, together, outdoors.

• Wally began working with his family’s landscaping business. Erin talked with her family and they hired Wally’s family crew to come rebuild their porch and have dinner, all together. 
  

• Jaime was shy at the first Wednesday night dinner his One Parish One Prisoner team had at their tiny rural church. But he was curious when the next one was. He reconnected with his son, Junior, recently out of jail himself and in his own reentry journey. They both started coming to the dinners. And soon they both got jobs at the same company! 
  

Now is a magic season – our distant handshakes through cell bars can become a more expansive embrace of living life together. We feel anew that the land of the living is better, more whole, when we’re together.

Lean in. Spend time together. Experiment. Have fun. It’s better to initiate now than react to problems later, when too much free time or new life pressures seem to push our friends back toward the familiar shadows.

Keep meeting as a team monthly — with your released friend – to enjoy each other and remain united for what’s next. There are still several more months of learning and resurrection work ahead!

PICK UP THE PHONE

“The hardest thing to do is to pick up that phone and call. That phone weighs a hundred pounds.”

— Karina, formerly incarcerated community organizer

That’s the struggle for so many folks in transition from incarceration or in addiction recovery: reaching out, asking for help. Just grabbing the phone in your pocket to call people who care about you. It's hard.

At the first team meeting where Wally could join them in person, parish member Nate told Wally: “I can understand you Wally, how hard it is to reach out.” Nate’s wife had a difficult surgery that season, and life was hard at home taking care of the children with his partner in fragile recovery. He was ashamed to reach out to his team, his church, his community, to ask for help, to admit he was struggling.

It’s not just those leaving the underground. Picking up that phone is a spiritual muscle we’re learning to use together.

Many parish members have told us that once their friend was released from prison,they never switched from writing prison letters or emails to making ordinary phone calls! 

“Oh yeah! I can just put their new cell number into my phone, and call or text them whenever I want now!”

That’s it. They’re not a prisoner anymore. They’re part of your community. 

Another parish member told us, “I don’t want to bother him, now that he’s busy with his new job and life and all.” 

No! Bug them! These relationships are exactly what we’ve been building together. Not reaching out leaves our friend feeling unwanted ,like a project vs a real relationship. Don’t be shy. 

Pick up the phone.

DEPARTMENT OF CONNECTIONS

This is what this season is about: connecting. Find any excuse. Be creative. Working on all of the Stones to Roll Away keeps us in regular contact. But often the magical conversations take place in the car, waiting in the office, or at lunch afterwards. There’s a lot to get checked off your friend’s list as they reintegrate into society, but you’re more than a task master or a case manager – you’re a friend. Make sure you’re making time for the good stuff too – the small things, little joys that your friend has missed out on while in prison.

Connections are also about finding ways to get others involved. Side jobs. A friend who has a shared hobby or interest. Inviting your released friend to an activity with friends, with no agenda. “Just come along!” A meal with your family. 

Always be on guard against the impulse to coach and correct.

You may have a valid concern, but who wants to be corrected? 

Remember: they’ve just left the Department of Corrections. With you, they have entered the Department of Connections. If you aren’t putting time into the connection between you, you haven’t earned the right to offer correction yet.

Cultivate the connection so that when they face trouble, new problems, catch themselves in mistakes, they come to you and ask, “What do you think I should do?” That’s the kind of connection we seek to build. That’s the magic.

A MOVIE

This month, we have a movie for you! This is Martin Bonner (2013)